I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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