you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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