My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
