there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
