Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
if only i could text you this smell
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
