I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
