of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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