after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
