K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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