Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
