i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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