It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
