he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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