he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
My pussy is not your playground.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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