She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize