You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The power of my boobs compel you
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
