Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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