Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
There are leaves in my underwear?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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