Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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