Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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