I swear she didn't look like that last week.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
