Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
