You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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