Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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