oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
