You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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