That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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