my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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