Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
