He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I don't deserve a penis
Also, beer. Big fan.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
