I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
