i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
