her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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