Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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