Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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