He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize