He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
