shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's never too late to be topless.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
