Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its not stalking. its research.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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