I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize