I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
