drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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