He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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