i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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