Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
