While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
