addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
