I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
