So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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