I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
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