it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
