He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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