Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
