No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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