nut hugger
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
