I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
