i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
