I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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