K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
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